Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has. ((Margaret Mead))

Again, woke up, no water; it is becoming a reassuring trend and I hope it stays this way.

This morning Mercy formed the Mercy Emergency Flooding Team (MEFT) to go out into the surrounding communities, assess the damages, collect statistics and find a way to help those in need. (Find them and like them on facebook!!) Tomorrow I will go with the team to these communities and my job will be to help translate all of the write ups into English. I love being a part of the work that is done here and I love sharing the beauty that makes up Mercy with the ones I love. I have received so many emails from people at home asking if there is anything they can do to help. I will talk with M.E.F.T. tomorrow to see what you at home can do!

Tonight, while Skyping with my Dad, he in his PJs and a leather coat (because it's so cold in Boston), and me, bright red and sweating from my night run, talked a little bit about my next move. With only 6 weeks left at Mercy, I find myself asking: Where did the time go? When will I be able to return? How can I help from home? And what am I going to do next?

Most of you know that one of my life goals is to write a book, a proper book, and every new adventure takes me one step closer to my first eclectic collection of short stories. But with every new twist and turn that life throws my way, I find new interests that become passions. While education has always been the most important thing to me, I realized, so is public health. I can't stop thinking about all the diseases borne from the stagnant waters in Thailand right now, and all the HIV/AIDS patients and diabetics in the community who, due to the floods, are not able to access their medications. What can I do and how can I help? These thoughts brought back memories of my class on NGO management with Ken Williams this winter, and meeting with all the different NGOs in New York City. I thought back to inspiring groups like Public Healthworks working in Burundi and GEMS in NYC and all the public health education they are providing. Maybe this is my nitche?

And thus the journey continues - here are some thoughts - fellowships, perhaps even applying for a Fulbright, write a book and maybe pursue a PhD in public health. But perhaps I'll try and stick around Boston, maybe apply to Harvard? All hopes and dreams for the future, but what is life without a few hopes and dreams?

However, the most important aspect of my life right now - to give back. This experience has been a game changer and I know now that no matter what I'm doing, volunteering with kids is always going to be at the top of my list. I can't imagine my life without the kids here and I will do everything I can so I don't have to, so that I may remain a part of their lives after I leave.

Service to others is the payment you make for your space here on earth.
((Mohammed Ali))

And with that it is time for bed. Hoping that when I wake up tomorrow and it is November, the rains will stop, the temperature will cool and the waters will recede. My thoughts and prayers are with the families whose homes and lives were lost in the floods.

Sounds of silence.

Today I woke up to the sound of water. Fortunately it was just a neighbor taking a bath with a bucket of water out his window, but it sent chills down my spine. I ran downstairs - the streets were still dry. This is when I decided to set out and find this water. ((Don't worry, I'm being safe!)) I walked the way Ben and I used to walk to the river and couldn't seem to find the port. I knew I recongnized all the side streets, but every time I went for that last turn I was faced with a 10' wall. This must be the water barriers they have been talking about. So then I decided to see if Sukhumvit Road was flooded. I walked for over six hours today through the center of Bangkok - no signs of flooding. Besides the apparent exodus of all Thai business peole, there were still the tourists out taking pictures of the sandbags that have flooded the center. News reports say that the high tide wasn't quite as high as they expected, but if all the dykes stay secure we may be ok. High tide again in 30 minutes. And the waiting game continues. The PM says that Bangkok's waters should recede by next week, so if we can hang in there just a few more days... Also, word on the street is that these waters are NOT from storms (Thailand always has rain storms) they're due to the mismanagement of the dams in the north. Damages are ranging in the billions and nearly 400 people are dead.

Pictures from my walk...

Making sandbags...

Boats in the canal.

Just discovered these intricate notes on the concrete pillars supporting the highway, down by the canal.

Empty streets and store fronts closed by Ekkamai.

Water deliveries to Jet-sip-rai.

Hoping we stay dry! Happy Halloween weekend.

ABA

And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. (great abe)

One of my superstar girls, Nancy, turned 15 last weekend. This is a big year here because when you turn 15 you can go get your National ID card. As birthdays aren’t celebrated individually here, I promised Nancy, Ann and Kwan that we would celebrate together. I have become so incredibly close to these three; they’re amazing kids. They take care of each other, they are wise beyond their years and they’re so smart and talented. I can’t say enough good things about them.

In the cab to dinner I told the girls how Ben had sent his best and wished Nancy a very happy birthday. “Awwwwwww P’Ben, dadddddd, he should be here!” While Ben is missed, I think I’m doing a pretty decent job as a single mom ☺. Off to the Pizza Company, where iced tea milkshakes and copious amounts of pizza, pasta and salad were consumed, the girls left filled to the brim. Kwan joked that Ben would be jealous of how much we ate. As I sat back in my chair, I couldn’t help but take in the smiles and laughter and smile as well. Nothing cures a mood like these three and they are a constant reminder of why I am here and why I love what I do so much.

Nancy, who always surprises me with her serious moments, stopped giggling and looked me right in the eyes. “We were saying before, well, we’ve never met volunteers like you and P’Ben, ever. You really take care of us and do special things with us and remember our birthdays. We’ve never called any other volunteers Mom and Dad before. You two are different.” There go those “over-active” tear ducts again… I was so touched, but how could you not want to do everything for these girls?

We finished dinner early and the girls wanted to “play something”, which more accurately translates into, “we don’t want to go home yet…” so we found, most likely, the only ice skating rink in Bangkok. “Girls, are you sure you want to do this? You’ve never skated before…” Apprehensive, but excited, they all clamored, “Yes!” So, there we were: myself in a short dress, the girls all wobbly, like a new calf, and terrified, holding on to the railings with white knuckles. I spent an hour skating backwards, holding their hands and pulling them along, alternating between the three. Even exhausted from using new muscles, they stayed on till the very end. When we left I got a huge group hug and Nancy declared, “I want to be an ice skater now!”

As children growing up in a community that encourages you to try everything and has the resources to do so, I was reminded of how lucky I am that my parents exposed me to so many different 'things' as a kid. Now I get to pay it forward. The look on their faces, trying this new “sport” out for the first time, was exhilarating, even at 15. Just to be a part of these moments is like experiencing it all again.

Not to mention, I’m glad the kids were able to have some fun before being sentenced to full days of cleaning Mercy while they are out of school. Yesterday they cleaned the sewer under Mercy and were covered in oil and mud – a job given to Thai prisoners before they are let out. Needless to say, they are probably really missing school at this point!

Dinnerrrrrr

Far more sugar than any of us needed!

Ice skating!

Naturally we ask for one of the four of us and the guy cuts out the ice skates!

Our tuk tuk cruise home :)

Keep sending DRY thoughts!!!

ABA

you can stand under my umbrella, ella, ella... ((rihanna))

It seems as if my neighbors are calm, cool and relaxed. I am just clinging on to the hope that one of the many plans the media keeps talking about will work. One idea was to create water ways (read: drudge out 5 meter deep "rivers") on either side of some of the major highways in the outlying zones of Bangkok, to carry the flowing water out to sea without having it destroy central Bangkok. There is talk of pumping systems and boats pushing out the water, but new concerns have been raised over the very hightide coming tomorrow afternoon. The river is at full capacity already and with excessive tides, the embankments could break, this coupled with the water running down from the north could be disasterous. However, everything is still a big guessing game, riddled with "what ifs" and "if this than thats". The Castle and Khao San Road (backpacker haven) regions are starting to see rising waters, which is about 10 minutes by car from where I live. Everyone keeps saying, "No doubt we'll be under water..." but when you hear this everyday for the past two weeks you wonder... maybe someone has come up with a brilliant plan... however it seems unlikely at this point.

This afternoon I seized the opportunity to get a run in before my looming house arrest. The streets seemed more than quiet, given a Friday at "rush hour" in a city perpertually in a state of rush hour. The people have fled. The rest of us are just waiting... here are a few pictures I snapped on my run.

My nextdoor neighbor chills out, plucking/shaving his beard with one of his rear view mirrors.

Metro entrances are being gated up.

The Thailand Stock Exchange is literally building a 6'' wall outside, supported by sand bags.

These clouds are predicting something crazy is about to happen... right?

So what do girls do when they are stuck inside? Mmhmm.

More to come. Pray for dry land!

ABA

Are you upset little friend? Have you been lying awake worrying? Well, don't worry...I'm here. The flood waters will recede, the famine will end, the sun will shine tomorrow, and I will always be here to take care of you. - Charlie Brown

It's scorching outside today; hotter than usual, which is saying a lot. I can hear the hum of media helicopters above, going all day long. There are more ants and cockroaches in the house this week as well: all signs that point to more water coming. The city seems quieter, while the traffic seems to be piling up. Sukhumvit (the main drag) seems like ghost town in comparison to a usual busy Bangkok day. There is NO bottled water to be found in the city and businesses and stores have already closed their doors in preparation.

Things seems to be pretty much the same in my neighborhood, the kids are still smiling and running about, the street vendors are cranking out food at their standard top speed and there are fewer obvious signs of the impending pool Bangkok is about to become. However, 7-11 shelves are empty, the wood shop down the road has built cement walls around its doors and the government's Customs building, just a five minutes walk from my home, is barricaded with sandbags.

Mercy had an emergency meeting early today to discuss options. The latest information I've heard from Father Joe is that 10 of Mercy's kindergartens are already under water. The doors are locked and the rooms are eerily silent at the five kindergarten rooms located on Mercy's compound. The older girls are out of school for two weeks as their school is flooded, thus they have been put to work cleaning all of Mercy. You can feel the stress and tension, and as we all know, the worst is in the anticipation. Water and food have been stock piled and the most common fear amongst the kids and shared by myself, is that we will all be stuck under house arrest until the waters subside.

Most of the Mercy homes are built lifted from the ground level, a smart architectual choice in this neighborhood, which has seen floods before. For now all we can do is wait... I will try and keep this updated as regularly as possible, so continue to check back.

Empty 7-11 shelves

The concrete barriers outside of doors to keep the waters out... I've seen these all over the city...

A quiet Friday at Mercy kindergartens.

A lot of the other organizations on our street have closed up.

Customs.

Here's to hoping it stays moderately dry!

ABA

Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. RUMI

What a crazy two weeks it has been. There was Koh Lan (an island off Pattaya) with all the Mercy 6 kids for two days, then meditation camp, which was really nun camp, for seven days with the Mercy 4 girls and then my weekend as a tourist in my own city with the backpackers. On top of all the traveling and running around, the city has been inundated with flood warnings. As of now my neighborhood is on dry land, but reports have posted that the rivers banks are starting to overflow and anyone who has passed elementary science knows that the water will find it’s way from the north to the Bay of Thailand, by way of Bangkok. My neighborhood is situated just meters from the port, along side the river, and signs of people freaking out has become quite evident.

I’ve been getting a lot of requests about nun camp details, so I will do my best to give you a glimpse of a day at nun camp, through pictures and short blurbs. But first an introduction is necessary:

When you hear “meditation camp” a certain image comes to mind. For some it’s the serene scenes of young, athletic couples in yoga pants, sitting in the mountains, in the sun shine, chanting some ancient script, while finding inner peace, for others we have Julia Roberts to thank, at her Indian ashram get-away in Eat Pray Love. I will be the first to admit that these notions danced through my mind when a week at meditation camp was first suggested. While aspects of it held true, like the back drop of the Thai countryside, yoga pants and quiet time did not make the list. Living with 16 teenage girls in one room with one toilet for seven days was perhaps the most challenging part of the week, not the 3am alarm for prayer or the rule about fasting after 12 noon.

This retreat was supposed to teach the girls about the eight rules to being a nun, which can be found here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhikkhuni#The_Eight_Precepts

Besides the fact that we obviously had to respect the monks, these are the rules and rituals I gathered, perhaps a little different from the ones being taught in Thai each day.

1. Go to bed REALLY early because you’ll be getting up at 3am to pray, followed by a few kilometer walk to the village before sunrise.
2. You have to sleep on the floor.
3. Monks and nuns ARE allowed to have their cell phones on them at all times. (is this a rule?)
4. The monks collect the food; the nuns cook and prepare the meals.
5. Nuns can’t eat after lunch (12pm).
6. Breakfast is at 7am and lunch is at 11am: heavy mornings, light afternoons.
7. There is a blessing we did every day, before mid-day: the water ritual. Everyone in the room has to touch someone else, like a big chain of energy and one person pours the water from an ancient brass bottle into a brass goblet. I was asked to pour the water one day, which means I can send blessings to others and pass on my good karma to my next life and share it with loved ones. (Hence, you better be nice to me!)
8. We prayed while the sun was coming up and while it was going down everyday, with a lesson from the head monk every afternoon following lunch. While the girls copied poems in Thai during our lessons, I sketched the monk in my notebook. He asked to see it later!

The girls were resistant to go, knowing they were about to be cut off from their friends and all forms of technology, even though some MP3 players and cell phones made secret guest appearances. When I asked them what their favorite part of camp is, they all, in unison, replied: CHASING AND CATCHING THE CHICKENS!

There is really only one way to describe this trip and that is through pictures, so here it goes:

Walking to the temple to pray at 3:45AM, before sunrise.

Morning walks to the village (maybe 5-10 homes) to collect food. The people wait outside for the monks, the monks collect the food and bless the people. This happens every day, leaving just before sunrise, in order to be back in time to prepare breakfast before 7am.

The monks collect the rice and bless the neighbor.

Walking home.

Some mornings we were in charge of cleaning the shrines and temple...

...other mornings it was cooking.

Chasing the chickens and catching them, all for the sport of it.

Some mornings we went to collect the papaya...

Lunch would be on the floor in front of the monks, which always began with a prayer.

And the water ceremony. You take the brass upsidedown rattle and pour the water from it, into the brass bowl underneath.

Afternoon lessons and great lateday shadows.

Followed by free nights, ,

sunsets, and ...

getting these two out of my sleep space!

My favorite moments were when I could hear Nancy's high pictched laugh reverberate through the zen rock garden and carry on into the countryside, the morning we apologised to Buddha (the girls had to because the nun caught them singing pop songs) by each lighting 9 inscence sticks, and watching the monk boil and de-feather the chicken the dog had killed. My days were punctuated with the rich color of the merrigold robes against the vibrant green of the banana trees and the unexpected cool mountain air. While there were many points in time when I had no idea what was happening, I tried to lean into my discomfort, as an SITer would say, knowing that looking back, this would be one of my most memorable experiences in Thailand. The trip highlighted how amazing my international students are, because Nancy, Ann and Kwan, were the only people at the camp that could translate for me and they were supportive in a way most 15 year old girls cannot understand. Being at such a retreat taught me to try and let go of my obsessive need for understanding and order, to continually practice trying to clear my mind, and to always practice jai yen, a cool heart.

In our whites, the sign of purity... at least for the week.

We received matching nun bracelets for promising to abide by the rules of the nuns.

One of the girls told me that the orange fabric (the color of the monks robes) wrapped around a tree means that a spirit lives there and it is to be protected.

Meals were community style on the floor.

Dirty feet, a sign of a successful week at nun camp.

As we packed our bags on our final day, the head monk said his goodbyes. I caught a few words, like I will miss you, you have all been good nuns and then he said something and everyone looked at me. Ann translated: "Alex, you are truly a Thai person. You were just born in the wrong place." I was honored. As I boarded the bus, the "momma" nun told me, "You will return here in the future," as if it were a simple matter of fact.

And with that, the rains have come. Only tomorrow will tell what is in store for jep-sip-lai. Lets just hope we have earned enough good karma...

What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman in the midst of this world, where each person is clinging to his piece of debris? What's the proper salutation between people as they pass each other in this flood? BUDDHA

Correction from the last blog post:

Mercy is staying open to be here for the community members when the waters arrive, so Pung and I went to the nearly empty grocery store today with half of Bangkok's population to stock up. The irony of all this water coming, is that there is absolutely NO bottled water ANYWHERE and it has been like this for over a week. We have cereal and eggs and bread and rice and all the proper "preparation" foods. Laos will have to wait as we prepared for the worst and hope for the best. Today the sun is shining and the streets of jet-sip-rai (my neighborhood) are dry. Tomorrow who knows.

Here are pictures from the areas around Bangkok. This is apparently what we are looking to have very soon. Keep your eyes open for the bat signal!!!

http://www.theatlantic.com/infocus/2011/10/bangkok-underwater/100178/

I will continue to keep you posted. The streets are lined with heavy bags and many people have taken to building cement walls outside their doors, in hopes of keeping the waters out of their stores. I will have to get out and take some pictures before the water makes it to the city center!

PeaceLoveWater

ABA

We must admit there will be music despite everything. ((Jack Gilbert))

With a belly full of Thai moonshine (("elephant stomping on your coffin")) and the silent reminder that he would return, Ben departed for home.

Thursday morning came early and with it came promise of another adventure; it was time to meet the Mercy 6 boys and girls on Koh Lan, the island off of Pattaya, for a few days in the surf and sun. The annual trip is sponsored by British Airways for the children living with HIV/AIDS at Mercy. The four day trip, in which I joined in for two, is a nice holiday for the kids - days are spent playing games, in bathing suits, by the beach. The week is filled with dancing, music and a love of life.

This one of the first times I had spent a significant amount of time with all of the Mercy 6 children together and it was fantastic. On my trip down to the island, I met a very special little boy who only joined the Mercy family 3 weeks ago. His eye sight is poor and staff wondered if the trip would be safe and fun for him. On the van ride to the port he was silent, occasionally looking over to flash a shy, modest grin. As we stepped off the ferry in Koh Lan, I felt a small hand grab mine. I looked down and with glassy, groggy eyes he peared up at me and guinely smiled. Within 12 hours, this same, shy little one would be up on "stage" breakdancing with the older boys.

While all the kids at Mercy mean so much to me, these kids are a very unique group. These are young, beautiful, sincere and loving children who's lifes were not only indirectly impacted by AIDS, but they've never known a life without it. Handfulls of pills at 6am and 6pm sharp daily. Bouts in the hospital due to their weak immune systems, which usually leads to interruptions in their studies, makes for a new "normal". Yet these are some of the happiest people at Mercy, always smiling and always ready for a hug, high five or a lift, these rockstars range in age from about 2 years old to around 16. In the 48 hours or less that I spent with them of the trip I felt my heart rapidly expanding. Little ones, like Big, would crawl into my lap at night, only to pass out in my arms and on our bus ride home I shared my seat with three other boys. One slept in my lap, head on my chest, the entire ride back to Bangkok.

Their last night on the island P'Moe and the staff put together a big celebration. The kids memorized skits and dances and the British Airlines crew, which was amazing, raised a toast to many years to come. Soon night fell and the older boys played DJ, blaring the latest dance music. The kids danced into the night and through the small patches of rain. The love, energy, happinest these children radiate continues to bring perspective. The children are under great care at Mercy 6 and the house moms prove that it's not just the pills that are working, it's laughter and smiling and hugs that are neccessary suplimental medicines. And these kids are unbelievably happy.

If there is one thing I took from this trip, besides a sun burn, it's that I need to spend more time with the Mercy 6 crews; what brilliant kids.

Home now, but not for long. In less than 5 hours I will be back up and getting on the bus to meditation camp. Equip with a journal, sleeping bag (we're in the mountains!) and all white cotton I am ready for this go. And I get to spend an entire week with my glam girls: Nancy, Ann and Kwan, who I love so dearly. No phones, no computers, no makeup. All white clothes, monks, nuns, prayer and silence.

More change.

I'm about to pass out from complete exhaustion, so I will close with this:

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think we become. ((Buddha))

Wish me happy thoughts! Until next week.

The kids at their cultural performace. So proud!!

P'Ben says "see you later" with a jam sesh.

Mercy 6 boys at the compound on Koh Lan.

The little Mercy 6 ladies line up for some seafood in between swims.

Love love love.

There's about 350 more pictures from the past few days - check facebook (in a week) for more!

ABA

I am not the same having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world. ((Mary Anne Radmacher))

Today Ben and I set out on one of our final adventures together here in Bangkok. We made it to RIST, where our HW kids go to school. An hour from Mercy, Ben and I had some time to chat in the taxi. We both admitted to being in denial over the fact that he's leaving, but he has big waves to catch and friends and family to see, and while we'll miss him, he put it best: this isn't goodbye, it's just 'see you later'. He better believe I'm going to be visiting Australia one of these days. And until then we'll get him on Skype for HW help.

Timing today was like out of a movie. With a lost cab driver and a high school campus larger than my undergraduate's campus, Ben and I were worried we'd miss our kids' performance for Cultural Week. Ton was lipsinking to Bodyslam (how perfect!) as our other kids danced along. Literally, the second Ben and I made it to the Performing Arts Center we hear "now introducing our 7th and 8th graders" as the music cued in and the lights faded from dark to light, Ton came tearing out of the wings on the stage. If Ben and I had done ANYTHING differently we would have missed their show, but like a true miracle, it was the perfect timing.

The kids spotted us in the audience almost immediately following the show, when the lights came up. They were so happy to see us there. "Mommmm, Dadddd!!!!" And Ben and I were beaming with pride - "Let's go find our kids!" Rose showed us around the grounds as we waited for the final bell to ring which signaled 'go time'. On the bus ride home all the kids fell asleep. I turned to see what Ben was doing. Naturally he had his Kindle out. I sat in front of him with my paperback. "Look, mom and dad are reading and the kids are asleep," I joked. "Yeah, looks like we'll have to carry them into the house when we get home..." he quipped. While we joke, this has become my family away from my family. They are the most amazing kids and Ben is so good with them, he's going to make a great dad some day. We followed the performance with dinner on the 3rd floor of Mercy. I sat and rubbed Kwan's back (she ate too much) and watched Ben take pictures in his head. When we talked about plans for tomorrow, I reminded them it was Ben's last day. "Noooooooooooooooo" and "you can't leave"'s were screeched.

I know it's coming, but it's going to be SO weird when he's gone.

Tonight I went home to find my lovely roommates just hanging out at the house. I told Pung I really wanted to go see her mom, who is a fortune teller. Within minutes Pung was on the phone - "come on over". What an enlightening evening! Cards, books and birthdays were referenced and apparently I'll be married within two years, ha! Pung and Pui translated as Pung's mom carried on in a whisper. At times there would be burts of laughter and at others moments of silence. The anticipation killed me as I waited for Pui and Pung to decide on the proper translation. I made sure to record the hour on my phone, so that I may some day go back to that moment.

I'll have to get back to Istanbul again soon and have Fusun reread my coffee fortune! We can see if it all matches up. But the good news is I will have a great job soon and keep traveling (shocking, I know) and she can see my soulmate...

Life's a funny thing, four months ago I could have NEVER predicted where I would be right now and I can't wait to see what the next few months have in store.

For now I will live by Rumi's wise words:

Let Yourself Be Silently Drawn By the Stronger Pull Of That Which You Really Love

I love days with the kids...

...and views of Mercy 2 at sunset.

On a day when the wind is perfect, the sail just needs to open and the world is full of beauty. Today is such a day. (rumi)

ABA

Set your heart on doing good. Do it over and over again, and you will be filled with joy. ((Buddha))

It’s rare when I find myself wandering through Mercy on a Sunday, but today confirmed that I need to do it more often. What a crazy week it has been. It feels so good to get back to my computer and writing – although bear with me – it may be a little disjointed as my thoughts are all over the place.

Last week my family was in town. It was amazing to share my life at Mercy with them. Seeing the love in their eyes only reaffirmed my love for this place. Whether it was Dad entertaining the little boys and girls of Mercy 2 and 3 with elephant noises and singing Sinatra, or Aunt True’s sponsored kids traveling over a day from their homes in the countryside to come to Mercy and see her, or the little boys making googley eyes at Leanne – I knew this trip was as transformative for them as this experience has been for me. While it was sad to see them go, I was comforted by the fact that I have an entire family here, with two hundred little siblings and a handful of big brothers and sisters.

One of the projects Aunt True and Dad worked on while they were here was making a Mercy video for the US website. ((Tax free donations can be made in the US!!)) They decided to interview one of my roommates to give Mercy a face and a name. Pung told the story of how she made it to Mercy and even brought us to visit her Mom, who is still living in the neighborhood. At the age of seven, two years after Pung lost her father, her mother made the difficult decision to give Pung to Mercy. It was going to be the best thing she could do for her daughter; Mercy could provide food, education and a safe shelter.

Pung has been one of my closest friends here and even though I already knew she was amazing, seeing her with her mother was so incredibly special. Everything in the house, down to the house itself is from Pung. In college Pung received an allowance, but always made sure to send money home each month. She then wrote a proposal to Mercy to have them build her mother a new home when the place she was living in was no longer safe. The small space, just a little bit bigger than my bedroom at home, is now packed with Buddhist shrines and brightly colored knitted tops and filled with warmth, love and light. Her mom is a soft-spoken beauty, and when we all sat on the floor to eat fresh fruit, she pulled out an old photo album, proudly showing us the few pictures she has of the entire family together. It felt like home. We were taken in and trusted like family: this, to me, is the most wonderful attribute of Thai culture. I’m humbled by the hospitality and love I have been shown here.

One thing that Pung said, when she was being filmed, was how Mercy is a family. This really resonated with me, and now whenever I look around, all I see is family. From the kids piled on top of each other passed out during movie night, to Nancy teaching the Mercy 6 girls a new dance she learned at California WOW, to the way the older kids cook themselves dinner, all together – I see the ever important family. When life is hard these kids have each other. The bonds formed here will leave you breathless.

And in the midst of all this happiness, there is a looming sadness: it’s Ben’s last week at Mercy. He’s headed back to Australia on the 13th and I’m not sure what we’re going to do without him. He has been my closest friend and confidant for the past four months, as well as a “co-parent” to our RIST kids. Friday night we had his last movie night and as I sat there, in the happiest place on earth, I thought about how important he is to these kids. They LOVE him. Patient (when fed) and kind, he has been the ultimate big brother. The kids even call him Ben10 – a Thai superhero. The thought of not having him here makes my stomach turn. I see it in the kid’s eyes and it literally breaks my heart to think that I too am going to leave. I may not say it to your face, but I know you’re reading this, and Ben, words can’t describe how lucky I feel to have met you.

When Ben leaves I have a crazy busy schedule. On the 13th I’ll head to one of the islands off of Pattaya with the Mercy 6 kids for two days, returning Friday night, only to wake up Saturday morning and take off for meditation camp with my RIST kids. For one week we’ll be in all white, meditating with monks in the middle of the country. One meal a day, no make up and lots of time to think. I really do feel like I’m in Eat, Pray, Love the sequel. And to make life even better, I made a new friend and travel partner this week and plans are in the making for a trip.

I honestly believe that this is true happiness: To sit on the third floor of Mercy, in the open air, with Mercy 2’s rooftop just a stones throw away, watching the sun set in the cotton candy colored clouds, with the sounds of children laughing in the basketball courts below. I continue to come back to the same conclusion every time I write: how do you leave this place once it has taken such a strong hold on your heart?

Leanne with the Mercy kindergartners.

Movie night.

Pung and her mom.

Ben10 and pee saao and nong saao.

Why you just can't seem to leave.

All my love from BKK

ABA